before Xmas 2012

we have all survived 21 Dec 12 !! i'm glad.. :) we are all safe and sound.. Thank 神s~!

i feel i haven been a really good fren.. i said things just to spite her.. like when my mum asked why i haven been staying over at your place..i told my mum you are bz, office alot of event..but when i told u what i said to my mum, i said you have got to know another friend and have lesser time for me.. i dunno y i did that.. agnoising over why is did that..i didnt say that i swear..i dun wish to admit it is the case..

When Yanpeng asked me why u are not free, i thought the best answer will be to say you have another gathering to attend..but you seems not happy at my reply. I know my answer could be better then..but what should i say? i really dunno..

Im v happy to see u..but when i know each time i meet you or stay over at your place you will need to lie, i dun feel happy. i wondered what you will do if u r in my situation..i really wish to know..will u be better den me? or worse off..
I felt as if we are doing something sneaky, something 见不得光。。 i hate this kind of feelin..
i know u r always doing your best to spend time w me whenever you can..u dun need to tire yourself this way for me..im just your sister. nobody too impt.. you can definately do without me..i must keep reminding myself that you can do without me anytime..you don't need me in your life..this way i wont sink further in.This way i wont forget and expect alot again..this way i wont get any disappointments..i dun wish to tink this way, but i guess this is the best for us both.. you have made your choice. i shld learn to do so for myself too..i will learn..

thanks for being there for me fren..i still hope i can do the same for you too! forever..but is there a thing call forever? i might want to..but do you? does situation allows?
thanks for being my reader..cos im a book..and i need you to tell me who i am..

thanks for reassuring me that im a loyal person towards something or someone who i love..i just have alot of new interests..and they changes pretty fast.. it's always nice to have you with me.. even though i might have alot of unhappiness, alot of worries each time before meeting you..but when im w you, everything mirculously just dissipated.. gone. im surprised too..but u r always able to make me change my thoughts abt my decisions..i dunno how u do it..but u jus did it everytime without fail.
U might not even know u have done it n how you do it..but it jus happen. Sometimes i hated it..i hated myself for being not strong willed enough..but im glad you are able to change my mind everytime..perhaps thats how and why we are able to be frens, sisters for so long..my mimi lim. tell me wats next to come..

would you dare admit that i did all these above cos you are this impt to me?