Welcoming 2013

Its the 1st working day of 2013! Happy New Year to all! especially to you know who you are..
As much as i try hard to make everything good to welcome the new year, maintaining high spirit and positive, my body still fails me.I felt sickly tdy..sore throat, tummy ache and nauseous.. hmm..pls let me be well again.Only then i can have the energy to stay very positive, and not do stupid stuffs/things which might hurt people around me, especially people whom i care alot.

Thanks for spending 29 Dec with me..shopping for your Xmas present at funan the whole afternoon, treating me to Melben for crab feast..Thanks for spending time with me. I made a stupid mistake, cos i was being greedy.I thought i could steal another night with you..i made a terrible mistake and i regretted it immediately.The last thing i wana do is make you angry and sad.. That's what i always say when you are angry with me, when i made you sad..but somehow i always did it.I always regret big time, but i never seems to learn..This time, i really made up my mind.I need to be the one making changes,,for you i will put in my best to do it.. I shall stay out of your life..i would not ask you out nor ask if we are meeting..i'll be there for you only when you needed me..i shall not give you unnessary pressure..I do not want you to be caught in between.You are a good sis, my bestest fren..i do not want you to be unhappy cos of me..i want you to be proud to know me, to be my sis, till we are old. I wish and hope you will find happiness, i really do from the bottom of my heart..i hope you can feel my sincerity..but at the same time, i dun wish to see you so tired and unhappy..i dunno wat i can do.U can always give me really good advises, for me to see things clearly..but i seems not able to do so..perhaps giving you some time and space off from me is the best i can do for you now.
U asked what i was unhappy w on that day..i couldnt answer you.Cos i do not know.
You asked whether izit i feel you have no time for me, or that i feel you will not want me anymore..
Yes i felt the above..and i felt sad cos maybe i pity myself.That why you can leave me for others within such a short time frame..that you can forgo what we have been doing together over past few years for the company of another person. I dun understand what is Love, that's why i cannot understand.However i'm beginning to put myself in your shoes to think..i need understand that you have the rights to persue your happiness on your own.I forgot the purpose of my existence. Im here to make you happy, to ensure you dont feel alone and for you to find your happiness. Since you have found it, i should be glad and leave..but i forgotten feelings arent like equations, where minus and plus you get an end result.. there's too much involved..
I believe i can do it..pls give me strength..for your sake.i will have to do it..I trust you..

Hope 2013 will be a better year for everyone, especially my family, u and me. :) Love ya always~