21.11.12

Im beginning to have better appetite..but dunno izit i cannot eat too much still. Everytime after i ate slightly more, i feel discomfort in my tummy n even LS today.
I finally went lunch w my min sis today after so long..together w Sasa. M happy to see them both and lunch w them.. Sasa told min sis that im always so happy. Min sis said thats cos Sasa has not seen me when im sad.. Y wld i wana let others know im sad? I oso wana protect..i dun wish pple to probe..cos i know if they do, i cannot hold back my tears.. n this will lead to more n more probing which i do not wish to. This is my only way to protect myself, and my min sis.. Im not happy, but wat can i do? I dun even wan min sis to know im not happy..i wan her to ease her mind off me, so that she can conc on the stuffs she wana do. Work, n that person, n family n many other stuffs. Her world does not revolve round me only..i understand.
After the dream, i started to set lesser expectations..i realised expectations are what gives you the most disappointments.. Im not happy, im not. But wat can i do? Life goes on..nobody will die from sadness..
Min sis asked me y i can be gd fren w Ber. I dunno cos i hv never thought if it.. I tink it jus came naturally.. But after pondering for awhile, i realised its cos of Min sis..who else?
She set the stage well for us to know each other, n we have gd impressions of each other..We spent time w each other, take care of each other, travel cum shopping mates for years n share gossips like any other girl friends will do.. We meet each other almost every week..I like bernice cos i tink she is worthy of my frenship. Though she has alot of flaws, but who does not? I see her sincerity..most impt, sometimes from her, i find the things that im lacking, even the feeling (sad n happy) that im feeling when im w Min sis. Im always grateful to those who appeared in my life, lend a helping hand lifting me up during my dull days.. I'll rem them for life.. (the gd kind) Most imptly, I see her treating min sis w a sincere heart before..at least thats what i feel.
But im curious, did min sis tell her the same thing abt our history like she told that person now? If yes, i tink Ber has got a really open heart, willing to accept. If no, thats the way to begin w since its all history,Y bring it up?
Im happy for Ber that she has found her love n had a family of her own now.. :) fr the bottom of my heart..
Same goes for my Min sis..i sincerely hope she will be happy w what she has now.. n feel loved.
Its time for me to do the same, n i hope i get the same blessings from my dearest frens too..