MC

I took my 1st MC today..after i moved on to Offshore.
Hmm..a sign that i'm tired~
Initially i only planned to take to take a break, still having second thoughts dunno whether should really take anot.
However after yesterday's dinner with Scott and friends, really kena indigestion, stomach pain..
This morning woke up with stomach upset, went LS..decided to stay home, see doc, take mc rest..
Things happen for a reason i guess..haha
Din regret my decision for the day..haha.had a really gd time/rest today.. :D

Feels lousy at work..dun really like the job context..
boring,meaningless, not something that i like..
counting down to next change of job..ARM..hope i dun need to wait 18mths for that..sigh~

i have thoughts and ideas, but they are always incomplete..
Thanks to my fren, for always completing what is always in my mind, my sentences, my thoughts..
Only w her help, i'm able to know what is really going on my mind.
haha..yes, i'm this lousy without her..
what is wrong w me..feels like dying..
i dreamt of my ah ma again this morning..i saw her, but she claimed she's not her..
i see her, its her..i couldnt b mistaken..or could it be a sign that i'm losing my memory..my memory of her..??
i wouldnt want that to happen..what is happening to me?my brain seems nt able to function very well these days..im seriously worried..

i know im feelin this way, this anxiety over nothing and mood swing all becos of the stupid monthly affairs..hope this feelin will go away soon.

all is gd all is gd all is gd all is gd all is going to be fine..

l.o.v.e

totally agree!

Stupid Fren~touches heart

This is what my fren got for me despite i made her reali reali angry..




I jus love my fren..reali. :)
Thanks!

Sorry..

When we are ANGRY, our hearts drift apart. To mask the DISTANCE we felt, we instinctively SHOUT instead of speak so the other party can hear us.

But as we SHOUT, we get ANGRIER. And we felt we drift apart further. So we SHOUT even louder...

It is the opposite when we are in love. Not only we do not shout, we whisper into each other ears. Why?

This is because our hearts are very close, almost never apart. As our love deepen, we reach a state of communication where there is no need for words.

We understand each other well enough just by exchanging look.

Therefore, when we are arguing, DO NOT speak words that will make our hearts drift apart. WAIT a few days. When you feel your hearts are no longer far apart, pick up the conversation and continue from there.

----extracted from a blog..v well written indeed..i should have learnt the lesson, sorry fren..i shouldnt have shouted..i'm sorry____-------------

SMS fr her..fr the past....

I happened to come across this sms which i extracted from my N70 phone

-----U'll always say sorry to me when u are feeling insecured, that i'll leave u...u making all these very hard for me. At times, i really do not know what to do...-----

When did she sms me this?

y m i always feeling insecured..?

Y do i make her feel this way?

I mus do somethin abt it..she is my fren..she is supposed to feel jus happy being w me, definately nt this way..

-_-: :(

Sorry Fren..again n again..Sorry..

Dunno wats wrong lately..
Things just dun go thta well for me..
The worst is: i made my fren angry again!!

Y did i do that?
Y did i lose my cool?
Y did i feel unfair?
Y did i make her feel so negatively abt the things i do and say?
Y didnt i try to control the situation and make it better and not worse??
Y y y Y Y y y ?? alot of qns in my mind..!!!
I jus dun understand y my fren tinks i dun wana drive..

she hates me..
she hates my look..
she hates my voice..
she hates my behaviour..
she hates every bit of me..
she just cant stand a min of me..
I hate it when i make her feel this way..
Y m i such a failure??

I cant even talk to her nicely whenever misunderstandin arise..
I cant even get her to hear me out..
I cant even convince her that i dun mean that way that she feel..
I cant even get her to cool down for a second to hear me out..
I jus cant do anything..
I cant even be understanding when she's feelin so tired..
Y m i such a bad fren??

Wat went wrong??
Im afraid she will ignore me again..
Im afraid she will be angry w me..
Im afraid she will be disappointed w me..
Im afraid she tinks i've done tt on purpose..
Im afraid she wun fren me anymore..
Im afraid she will disappear fr my life again..
Im afraid..

Wat shld i do??
I'm once again feelin lost..
I'm once again feelin sad..
I'm once again feelin all the unhappiness that i ever felt again long time back..
I'm once again feelin afraid..
I'm once again feelin insecure..
I'm once again not feelin my existence again...

I hope my fren will not be angry w me le..
I hope my fren dun mean what she said yesterday inside the car..
I hope my fren will cool down and talk to me soon..
I hope we can have a happy autumm festival together..
I hope i can attend my 1st piano class w my fren happily tomorrow..
I hope my fren will fren me again soon..

Plss...someone pls help me..
Ah fren, can u pls dun b angry w me??
I cannot afford to lose u de..u are already my forever fren..wat shld i do to maintain tis 'forever' promise??

I'll do anythin to make u happy again..dun disappear fr my life..