TW WO U

I'm going on another trip without u..mixed feeling. I wana show you I don't need you, but rather, I want you in my life..forever. This kind of feeling sucks to the max. Rightfully I should be feeling happy, excited cos I'm going on a holiday! but..i just cant seems to find the joy.. I'm kinda depressed..sad that I'm really going without you. I looked at the photo I always have beside my bed.. Its of you and me, taken on 2011, July 27. That's the date we went to TW together, just the 2 of us. When will I be able to go oversea with you again?

I don't know what and how to feel anymore. This trip will be just another grocery shopping to me..nothing feels special or exciting anymore.. I'll get you the MagicShop primer and Facial wash..wish you could tell me what you want from there for now. Really hope my next trip will be with you. I realised no matter what we do or where we go, so long it's with you, it feels special and fun. I know you don't feel the same.. I'm sorry for causing you so much hurts all along. I should have been more sensitive and know what to do. If only I knew, things would not have turn out this way right my fren? 

Feels nothing but regrets only.. My 2nd largest regrets so far.

感恩

我们几乎每一天都会认识新的人，并有可能与他们结为朋友。朋友也分成很多不同等级。利用你的，hi and bye的，虚假的，真心的。妳的一生能遇见几个真心的能？机率会有多高？应该上辈子需积很多福吧。

我很glad我时常有贵人帮助，扶我一把。谢谢Mel 时不时都会在工作上提醒我，帮我。谢谢sasa会在我一个人，做一些傻事时跟我说她心疼我。谢谢nur，虽然不见面，但一直的motivate 我，encourage 我要positive! 最重要是我的家人。though 很多事不和你们分享，是应为不想要你们担忧，但你们无微不至的关怀，以胜过一切，以足够了。还有妳。不管妳生在何处，妳一直是我的良师好友，我的精神支柱，我的好姐姐。我希望妳也能和我一样，一直有人在妳最需要或失落时，扶妳一把，倍伴着妳，照顾妳。我一直相信，我们的友谊，缘分，是一辈子的。 现在的妳，请暂时提我好好照顾自己。妳比任何人都还来的重要。

Dreams

These few days I dreamt more than usual.. Of u. Bits n pieces everywhere.. I'm happy to see u in my dreams. Jus the night before, I dreamt of myself walkin home in a dark alley. In woods I think. I was lost., n was feelin scared. Seems like the place is haunted.. Jus as I was about to scream and run, u appeared, grab my hand and ran. I can feel you were equally scared.. N u do not know where to run to. But u just came back for me when u could have jus walked away, to somewhere safe. I'm thankful for having you in my life.. Really thankful to have u. Please come back my sis.. I need u to be by my side..

slow death..

Quote: We were meant to lose people we love.How else would we know how important they are?

time does not make one forgets, it only make one notices how important you are and how much one cannot live without..

Im in living hell now~ what should i do? i cant stop thinking of you..cant stop thinking of our past..cant stop thinking what exactly happened..cant stop thinking what makes you do this..cant stop the pain..cant stop the hurt..cant stop the tears..cant stop the sadness..  i really misses u so much. do u feel the same?
i just dont understand..m i such a bad fren? do u hate me this much? why wld we turn out this way?
i jus hope we can be back like last time..i know u like to hv freedom..just dont ignore me.. i promise you i wont be so reliance on you anymore..i promise i'll change..

I always know you are this important to me..from the very 1st day i know you.