drEam..

everyday's routine- i wake up, i prepare for work den wait for bus..listen to music but actually listening to other voices..slp on bus, dream of stuffs..alighted and i will call her..i know she won't answer, but i just wana call..my hopes are still high..at least i tried..i know i won't regret.. im still e same stupid fren whom she knows and knew..
work is hell lately, i can oni go toilet maybe once per day, go lunch, den mayb another time..never ending work, but hacked and hell with them!
i'll go off latest at 630pm..sometimes i wonder, when did i ever make a right decision?i'm such a failure..i cannot do anything right, yet i'm always complaining..i can't even be guai guai de..always making pple angry.. i'm jus being very spoilt..making alot of pple unhappy..wat is happening?
i go home on time, have dinner, sometimes i jus say i had mine le..my mama asked qns..what should i say?i dun even want to think wat have happened though those voices are always there to remind me every second..
i wanted to know how is her..is she happy w work or stuffs, beside i know the fact that she is angry with me..i wanted to know but i dun dare..it jus feel terrible..
i'm always guessing ..i dun like.
i tell myself, mayb i shld be like her too..like what Ber says, jus ignore let her be will do..
if only i can care less..but i can't.
i really love my fren..i cant possibly act like nothin have happened and jus let things be..moreover i am the caused of it..i should bear responsibilites and go through all these..
To some, its nothing terrible n bad..jus ignoring u mah..but to me, i dunno y..i will jus feel scared.i'm a scaredy cat..whenever i dunno wat to do, i will jus hide..i will jus slp..
i can slp whole day, cause i know my dream will be better den reality..but reality hurts..jus like wat i always dream of..that nobody has ever left..everyone is still with me.when i wakes up, this is the kind of pain which is most unbearable..
i hope all this will end soon and someone will answer to my years of prayer..i jus wish to grow old together with her, be her fren till the day i die.. :(